Peace – The New Black

Today, I am filled with peace.  I had the opportunity to spend almost every moment this weekend with Todd.  The only time we were apart was when I was getting a body wave put into my hair (yes, I broke down and got a perm just for a fun change) and when he sent me to the auto parts store to get a replacement bit for the one he had broken changing my brakes and rotors.  Otherwise, we were together, and it was awesome!  This weekend brought me peace. 

 

I have been a complete nervous wreck about this second IVF cycle for at least six weeks.  Mostly, I have worried about if it was going to work.  However, I’ve also worried if and when we would get our dates.  The date-setting last week helped to bring me much of the peace I am feeling today.  I think the other thing that brought me peace is I decided to change my words, therefore changing my thoughts.  Todd has always been optimistic that this cycle would work.  I’m the one that has been filled with doubt and worry and fear and tears.  I cry just at the thought of the cycle starting.  However, when I made the decision to change and told Todd about it, things slowly began to shift.  Now, when I talk about the future, I talk about it in terms of how pregnant I will be or how old the baby will be, instead of “if this cycle works” phrases.  I think this is helping.  I definitely feel more peaceful this morning than I have in a while.  I’m grateful for that!

 

On top of an awesome attitude switch beginning, we are less than 5 days away from the trip of a lifetime.  After the miscarriage in June, we discussed going on a vacation before the next cycle that would help us both relax and unwind.  Well, we finally planned it (nothing like last-minute) two weeks ago.  We leave this Saturday morning for 8 full days in Kauai, Hawaii!!  I couldn’t be more excited to get 10 days (with traveling) to spend with none other than my romantic, sweet, cute, cuddle-lovin’ hubby.

 

I hope to be having our first IVF appointment within 2 days of our return.  Last cycle, I would report how I was doing in terms of remaining euphoric.  This cycle, I’m shooting for remaining peaceful.

 

Aloha.