If You Never Do, You’ll Never Know

The last two entries that I have written, I’ve become increasingly aware that I’m not sure if I’m duplicating blog entry titles.  I could go back and look at each title, but I’m a little too lazy for that right now.  Therefore, if I duplicate one, the original one should just be flattered that they received such a well-liked (by me) name.

I forgot to blog that our drugs arrived last week.  They sat on a FedEx truck for several more hours than I would have liked them to, but alas, they made it to us.  Todd unpacked the box while I was having an Infertile Myrtles meeting with Kacy, AKA laying out by the pool and talking about whatever was on our minds.  J  I got home to find he had neatly laid out my unrefrigerated meds on the counter and neatly put my refrigerated meds in the refrigerator.  Good husband!  After looking at the price list, I realized that Follistim cost almost $5,000.  WHAT?!  I had received 5400 IU of Follistim.  For anyone that understands Follistim amounts, that is a LOT.  To put it into perspective, on cycles 1 and 2, I took 1350 IU at each cycle.  I confirmed with the nurse that this was the proper amount.  Apparently, I will be taking 225 IU twice daily (450 IU daily)!  It makes my ovaries hurt just to think about it.

All of our shots & accessories posing for a picture.

The massive box that it took to bring us our goods.

Today was my baseline ultrasound and Progesterone and Estradiol blood work.  I had expected today’s appointment to go well, and it did.  Having diminished ovarian reserve, it doesn’t take much to suppress my ovaries.  As with the first two cycles, this still held true.  My Progesterone was 0.35, and my Estradiol was <20.  The nurse assured me that these were good numbers, or they would have cancelled the cycle.  Duh, Laura, so stop calling us.

Since all went well today, I will start shots on Saturday.  Now, try really hard not to be jealous about this.  I know that each of you wish you could stab yourself three times a day, but I’m the lucky winner this time around.  TFC only gives you your instructions up until the next ultrasound and blood work appointment.  Therefore, I know that I will be taking the following three shots:

·         Follistim 225 units in the AM

·         Menopur 75 IU in the AM

·         Follistim 225 units in the PM

I have to have these approximately 12 hours apart but more importantly, they need to be at the same time each day.  In the past, Todd and I chose to do 9:45 AM and PM.  I give these shots to myself, so I can do them at work.  However, in the past, it has only been a Follistim shot in the morning, which is super easy to do at work.  You have a pin (similar to that of insulin) that you dial in the dose and give yourself the shot.  Easy peezy.  The most difficult part is that you have to keep it refrigerated and find somewhere that is actually private (not a conference room where a co-worker can walk in on you with your pants down if he chooses to ignore the “do not disturb” sign you placed at eye level). 

Menopur, on the other hand, is not easy.  You have to remove liquid from one vial, inject it into another vial with powder, and remove the liquid/powder mixture.  It’s more confusing than Follistim.  Plus, if my memory serves me correct, it has a considerably painful burning sensation during injection.  (Can I get a “more like excruciatingly painful,” Kacy?)  All of that is to say that I would rather do Menopur at home, so I think I’ll be doing that one at 7 AM.  Since 7 PM is not a time that we are likely home, I will probably be setting the PM shot closer to 9 PM.  Once you set your times, you need to stick to them as closely as possible.  Who knew there were so many little details that had to be considered in an IVF cycle?!

A new addition to this cycle for me is dexamethasone.  It is an oral medication that prepares the ovaries for stimulation.  I think it’s interesting that you take that pill to prepare your ovaries on the same day you actually start to stimulate your ovaries.

My next appointment will be next Wednesday, September 3.  They will perform a follicular ultrasound to see how my little follies (follicles) are growing.  They will also run another Estradiol test.  (Based on my last cycles, I will have additional ultrasounds on Friday and Sunday following that first appointment.  This is tentative, though.  Honestly, I’m hoping one of them falls on Saturday instead because I don’t want to have to miss church.  Come on, God.  Throw me a bone here.)

I haven’t had an anxiety attack in 8 days.  Seriously, y’all, that’s a cause for celebration!  Todd and I high-fived each last night when we realized it.  J  I truly feel that my acupuncture is helping.  Plus, I had a Reiki session yesterday, which is similar to a deep meditation while the practitioner lays her hands on you.  It was really relaxing.  In fact, it was so relaxing that I kept dosing off.  Then, I would wake myself up and get back in the right mind to catch my thoughts wandering…and oddly enough to things I have never seen or thought of, like talking squirrels.  Strange.  I told her about this after the session, and she said she didn’t care because she was talking to my subconscious.  Thank goodness because my conscious wasn’t having any of that relaxation without boredom mixed in!

Considering I have had a lot of anxiety leading up to this, I have wondered if we should just move onto adoption instead of continuing with IVF.  The answer is “not yet.”  Taco Bell confirmed that my thoughts were on track today – ‘If you never do, you’ll never know.’  What a brilliant, fast food chain I chose today.