Friday, March 6, 2015

Public Service Announcement

I have been a terrible blogger lately.  I’ve been kind of lost on what to say.  Today will be a little long, and I apologize.

This is a Public Service Announcement.  It is intended to inform you of the experience we had with a natural miscarriage.  In no way do I think that this would happen for every person that chooses a natural miscarriage, obviously.  However, if you are faced with the decision of a natural miscarriage, surgical D&C, or chemical D&C, maybe you should have a little more information.
·         December 15 – We were told that we had a 90% chance of having a miscarriage.
·         December 19 – We were told we were definitely having a miscarriage. 
o   At that point, Dr. McKinney informed us that we had three options:  natural miscarriage, surgical D&C, or chemical D&C.  At the point we were at in the pregnancy, the natural miscarriage would start within a few days or up to 4 weeks.  However, we would not run the risk of scarring that a surgical D&C can cause, and we would not have to put any additional drugs into my body.  Todd and I agreed the natural miscarriage sounded better.
·         January 7 – Natural miscarriage began.
·         January 8 – I began to regret our decision. 
o   I awoke around 3 in the morning with cramps bad enough to wake me.  Todd gave me some medicine, and with the help of the heating pad, I feel back asleep.  That morning, Todd and I had the opportunity to attend a staff meeting at church.  I was so excited to get invited.  When I awoke, I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to make it.  The pain was becoming tremendous.  I started to get ready, and just before we were supposed to leave, I decided I couldn’t make it.  This time, I had Todd give me the good stuff (left over from a surgery), and I went back to bed for the entire day.
o   At that point, we started over with the emotional distress.  Our therapist told us later that we were basically back at day 1.  We began to mourn the loss of our pregnancy on December 15.  Then, we began to mourn the loss again on January 8.  This was definitely the hardest section of this entire infertility journey that we have encountered.
·         January 19 – I went in for a blood draw.
o   They were checking to make sure my hCG levels had gone to zero.  hCG is a hormone that your body naturally secretes when you’re pregnant.  Unfortunately, mine was still at 207.  This told us and Dr. McKinney that my body was not completing the miscarriage naturally.  Ugh.
·         January 26 – We had another blood draw and ultrasound.  “Hello, Wandy.  Oh, how I have not missed you.”
o   My hCG was now at 78.2.  Dr. McKinney could see that I still had a pocket of fluid in my uterus that was measuring less than 2cm.  However, that had to leave my body before we could leave this dreadful experience behind us.
o   Dr. McKinney recommended we now try a chemical D&C.  Since we felt we had no other choice, we conceded.
o   At this appointment, she also informed us that she had been worried that I might have been building a large amount of blood in my uterus that at any time could have caused me to hemorrhage.  She has received calls from husbands in the middle of the night saying to meet them at the hospital because an ambulance was taking his wife there.  That’s a scary thought.  Luckily, my body was not retaining that much fluid, though.
·         January 27 – I took my medicine for my chemical D&C.
·         February 3 – We had another blood draw and ultrasound.
o   My hCG was at 34.5.  I was getting really tired of this miscarriage.
·         February 9 – The flow from my miscarriage increased considerably. 
o   I realized there was not quite an end in sight.  I spoke to my nurse over the next two days, and she informed me that I was still having the miscarriage and not to worry about it.  We decided to enjoy my birthday and our vacation without focusing on how we were heading into the sixth week of having a flow from this miscarriage.  I spent a few days in the dumps over this.
·         February 14 – The bleeding stopped on the way to vacation. 
o   That could have meant that my miscarriage was finally over.  It might have meant something different.  We will never really know.
·         March 3 – We had our final blood draw.
o   My hCG was finally negative.  It was time to move on from this chapter.  Now, we just wait for my period to start, which can take up to 6 weeks.

All of this is to say that I would ask questions before agreeing to a natural miscarriage.  If I could go back, I would have quickly asked for a surgical D&C to decrease the time Todd and I both had pain and suffering.  For over 10 weeks, Todd and I knew we were having a miscarriage.  The emotional pain of that is not easy to describe, but it tore us down.  The sadness was awful.  I had a period for 5 ½ weeks.  The physical pain caused me to miss out on things in my life.  I wouldn’t choose this option, again.  However, I realize my experience is special to me.  Not everyone would react like this.

However, as I said in the beginning, I just wanted to tell our story, so you could be educated.  Consider yourselves informed.

As of this day, Todd and I are both doing much better emotionally.  We are ready to move onto the next step in this journey.  We do not know what that step will be.  We are concentrating on praying about the future and letting God lead us in His direction.