Friday, March 6, 2015

Public Service Announcement

I have been a terrible blogger lately.  I’ve been kind of lost on what to say.  Today will be a little long, and I apologize.

This is a Public Service Announcement.  It is intended to inform you of the experience we had with a natural miscarriage.  In no way do I think that this would happen for every person that chooses a natural miscarriage, obviously.  However, if you are faced with the decision of a natural miscarriage, surgical D&C, or chemical D&C, maybe you should have a little more information.
·         December 15 – We were told that we had a 90% chance of having a miscarriage.
·         December 19 – We were told we were definitely having a miscarriage. 
o   At that point, Dr. McKinney informed us that we had three options:  natural miscarriage, surgical D&C, or chemical D&C.  At the point we were at in the pregnancy, the natural miscarriage would start within a few days or up to 4 weeks.  However, we would not run the risk of scarring that a surgical D&C can cause, and we would not have to put any additional drugs into my body.  Todd and I agreed the natural miscarriage sounded better.
·         January 7 – Natural miscarriage began.
·         January 8 – I began to regret our decision. 
o   I awoke around 3 in the morning with cramps bad enough to wake me.  Todd gave me some medicine, and with the help of the heating pad, I feel back asleep.  That morning, Todd and I had the opportunity to attend a staff meeting at church.  I was so excited to get invited.  When I awoke, I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to make it.  The pain was becoming tremendous.  I started to get ready, and just before we were supposed to leave, I decided I couldn’t make it.  This time, I had Todd give me the good stuff (left over from a surgery), and I went back to bed for the entire day.
o   At that point, we started over with the emotional distress.  Our therapist told us later that we were basically back at day 1.  We began to mourn the loss of our pregnancy on December 15.  Then, we began to mourn the loss again on January 8.  This was definitely the hardest section of this entire infertility journey that we have encountered.
·         January 19 – I went in for a blood draw.
o   They were checking to make sure my hCG levels had gone to zero.  hCG is a hormone that your body naturally secretes when you’re pregnant.  Unfortunately, mine was still at 207.  This told us and Dr. McKinney that my body was not completing the miscarriage naturally.  Ugh.
·         January 26 – We had another blood draw and ultrasound.  “Hello, Wandy.  Oh, how I have not missed you.”
o   My hCG was now at 78.2.  Dr. McKinney could see that I still had a pocket of fluid in my uterus that was measuring less than 2cm.  However, that had to leave my body before we could leave this dreadful experience behind us.
o   Dr. McKinney recommended we now try a chemical D&C.  Since we felt we had no other choice, we conceded.
o   At this appointment, she also informed us that she had been worried that I might have been building a large amount of blood in my uterus that at any time could have caused me to hemorrhage.  She has received calls from husbands in the middle of the night saying to meet them at the hospital because an ambulance was taking his wife there.  That’s a scary thought.  Luckily, my body was not retaining that much fluid, though.
·         January 27 – I took my medicine for my chemical D&C.
·         February 3 – We had another blood draw and ultrasound.
o   My hCG was at 34.5.  I was getting really tired of this miscarriage.
·         February 9 – The flow from my miscarriage increased considerably. 
o   I realized there was not quite an end in sight.  I spoke to my nurse over the next two days, and she informed me that I was still having the miscarriage and not to worry about it.  We decided to enjoy my birthday and our vacation without focusing on how we were heading into the sixth week of having a flow from this miscarriage.  I spent a few days in the dumps over this.
·         February 14 – The bleeding stopped on the way to vacation. 
o   That could have meant that my miscarriage was finally over.  It might have meant something different.  We will never really know.
·         March 3 – We had our final blood draw.
o   My hCG was finally negative.  It was time to move on from this chapter.  Now, we just wait for my period to start, which can take up to 6 weeks.

All of this is to say that I would ask questions before agreeing to a natural miscarriage.  If I could go back, I would have quickly asked for a surgical D&C to decrease the time Todd and I both had pain and suffering.  For over 10 weeks, Todd and I knew we were having a miscarriage.  The emotional pain of that is not easy to describe, but it tore us down.  The sadness was awful.  I had a period for 5 ½ weeks.  The physical pain caused me to miss out on things in my life.  I wouldn’t choose this option, again.  However, I realize my experience is special to me.  Not everyone would react like this.

However, as I said in the beginning, I just wanted to tell our story, so you could be educated.  Consider yourselves informed.

As of this day, Todd and I are both doing much better emotionally.  We are ready to move onto the next step in this journey.  We do not know what that step will be.  We are concentrating on praying about the future and letting God lead us in His direction.

10 comments:

  1. Wow When you lay it out like that it is crazy to see everything you had to go through. I am so sorry this was so hard and even more sorry that I wasn't a better friend throughout it. I just had another friend tell me she is having a M/C. I'm just so sad for all these stories. Thanks for sharing more as this post will help so many

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Caroline, you have been a perfect friend! I cherish you. Please, don't ever think differently. I am sad for your friend, too. I hope she finds peace with her situation soon.

      Delete
  2. I'm so sorry, Laura. This sounds awful and I'm glad you shared your experience to help others. Sometimes there are no easy answers for things like this as i have a friend opt for the D&C and as a result the damage to her uterus has caused her to never be able to carry a child and need a surrogate. Her PSA would probably say "never choose this route". I hate that infertility is so hard!!!! My heart hurts for those of us who have to face such difficult decisions. Hugs, my friend. I'm glad this awful miscarriage is behind you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jessah, that is so much worse! To have the dream of being able to carry a pregnancy taken away from me would make this so much harder. Her PSA definitely would be the opposite of mine. That kind of story was why we chose the natural miscarriage in the first place. My heart hurts for your friend. I hope she finds her peace soon, too.

      Delete
  3. I am so sorry Laura! It's so crazy to read all that you went through :/ I have thought and prayed for you often in the last few weeks. God has really placed you heavy on my heart. Love ya hun and please know that I am ALWAYS here for you. Just email me...message me...whatever! I'm here! xoxo

    waitingforbabybird.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words and prayers, Elisha. You are such an amazing friend to me, and I appreciate that! Love you, too. *Hugs*

      Delete
  4. There is no good decision in these situations I'm sure. Thanks for being so candid about it. It will help so many others. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, you are one strong woman! Love you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's sweet of you to say, Kacy. I am only strong through God, though. I love you, too!!!

      Delete
  5. I know I talk to you so much, but reading your story makes it so real and detailed, You know you are in my prayers daily. Love you sister!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your prayers, Courtney! Love you, too.

      Delete