Saturday, April 30, 2016

#startasking

As I have mentioned…a few times…this week is National Infertility Awareness Week (#NIAW).  The theme is #startasking.  This theme gives me so many feels.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I wish more friends and family would #startasking about our journey.  I know people fear that it will upset me.  I’m going to be honest, I might cry when I tell you about it.  However, it feels good to talk about it.  The thing is, some infertiles, i.e. Me, fear that talking about it too much will turn people away.  We are afraid you will start to look at us and think that all we talk about is infertility.  It’s like when your friend decides to sign-up for a Multi-Level Marketing company and you stop answering her calls.  You know what I’m talking about.

When someone asks me about our journey, it makes me feel less alone.

All of that is to say, don’t be afraid to #startasking me or your friend or your co-worker who is infertile how they are doing.  Ask them what the next step is for them.  Ask them if there is anything you can do to better support them.  Take time to invite them to coffee or a pedicure and learn about their struggle.  (I’m not saying you have to buy.)  But for the love, #STOPasking why they don’t “just adopt” or tell them to “just relax.” J

The real reason this theme gives me so many feels is…Jesus.  It was just over two years ago that I stood in the parking lot of a CVS in Dallas with Todd and told him that I was doubting my faith.  That’s really hard to admit publicly.  However, it was that moment that truly changed the trajectory of our journey.  Like an arrow that has to be pulled back in order to be launched forward, I was at the deepest part of that pull.

The following Sunday, we immediately found a church, began attending regularly, and joined a life group for blended families.  Within two months, we were serving as door greeters and in the children’s ministry.  Before I knew it, we were attending a weekend seminar on finding your God-given purpose in life.  Two months after that, I had the first meeting for Infertile Myrtles.  Very quickly, my arrow had been released from the Devil’s grasp and was starting its forward momentum.  I wasn’t signing up to become religious.  I was hopping on board for a personal relationship with God. 

Within the last two years, I learned something I had heard but never truly understood before.  When days are tough, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for help.  I believe I didn't understand it before because my life was pretty easy for the first 30+ years.  Then, the attack started, and I realized I couldn’t fight this battle alone.  Even Todd’s support, which is solid, wasn’t enough.

I have learned that when I don’t know the answer, or when the next step seems too big to decide on our own, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for guidance.

I have learned that when I start to feel envy of the mommies around me, it's time to #startasking Jesus for a softened heart.

I have learned that when I feel that relationship with a friend starting to slip away, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for restoration.

I have learned that when I feel like I can’t go another day down this path, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for patience.
 
I have learned that when I start to doubt if we will ever be parents, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for hope.

I have learned that when I feel all-consumed by our situation, it’s time to #startasking Jesus for peace.

Like I said, I don’t consider myself a religious person.  I consider myself to be in a relationship with Jesus.  He is my strength and my hope for our future.  I trust Him to stay by our sides for all of our days.  I have confidence that no matter where this path leads us, He will never forsake us.
 
All I had to do was #startasking Him to be a part of my life.
I actually took this picture at our favorite lake in Skiatook, Oklahoma.
God is such an artist.

6 comments:

  1. Love this, Laura! I'm glad to know a little more of your story! :)

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  2. Wow, I just read this, and it's absolutely beautiful. I agree with ALL of it. I've felt the same feelings you've felt, but the arrow being pulled back is a new analogy for me, and SUCH a good one.

    I love you, and I love your faith. Unless questioned, faith means little. Struggling through something, being dragged through the mud and still looking up for Jesus is TRUE faith (in my opinion :))

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    1. You are such a good friend, Belinda. Thank you for always encouraging and supporting me. Although I wish neither of us were walking this painful journey, I'm glad to have you by my side. Also glad I could teach you a new analogy. Love you, friend! *Hugs*

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