You know, what I imagine is that it's like starting to put numbers or ratios to scenarios now rather than hope for the best. And how to deal with that I'm sure is very difficult. Best case/worst case scenario type things and how to deal with best/worst when it happens. Because one of them is going to happen. However, in your heart of hearts, I know you're thinking positive somewhere in there or at least hoping for positive thoughts to resurface. It just may be a period of time of doubt or what-ifs. Which I'm sure is normal. And soon enough, you will be back to thinking positive. Because there's no good in worrying about the negative, but how can you not? That's what worry is. I read your blog today. So let me be positive for you when you can't. Or Todd. And you will come back and join us when you can. Because I think positive thoughts for you every single day. Even Rob does. Something happened on Saturday and we were driving in the car and he said you know, I really want this to happen for Laura and Todd and I'm being very hopeful that it does. My point is, you have lots of people being hopeful for you and if you need to worry or be realistic, we're holding your place.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Cousins...Siblings Your Aunt Birthed
I have 2 cousins that are just 1 and 2 years older than me. We have a lot of memories...a lot! They start as kids and haven't quite ended. Sometimes, I think about how lucky I am to have these cousins that I grew up with. We are originally from a small town, and I wonder if any of our friends ever wish they had cousins so close to their age. Is that random?!
They both live in Kansas City now, which is not really cool on their part. Todd and I are visiting them this weekend.
This is Matthew.
He's always been very protective of me, so I used to return that favor by dating his friends. Don't worry. I didn't marry one. 😊. He also opened his home and let me live with him for 7 weeks when I first moved back to Tulsa. Snow storms can damper some people's spirits. Us? We made snow angels in his front yard. We are cool adults.
This is Bradette.
Kidding. This is from last weekend at church:
She's my best friend. Bradette is different than most of my friends. There are few days that pass that I don't talk to her. She, Todd, and my mom know me better than anyone...maybe even myself. She's the only person that can read my mood through an email or text and nail it every stinkin' time...even if sometimes I tell her she's wrong because I don't want to admit I'm upset.
Bradette is also 35 weeks pregnant (hence the lack of updated pics) with a baby girl that I generously named Baby Laura for her. I realize she will never be able to repay the favor, and that's okay. I don't do good deeds for rewards. Mom and I threw her a shower last month that I will blog about once I get a few more pictures from framily.
Anyway, one day last week, I was sending her email #75 for the day, and I told her I was struggling with sadness more than normal. July 4th, I had to pause during my primping routine to cry in Todd's arms. I seriously love July 4th, and seeing all of my friend's Facebook posts of their babies in red and blue struck a little nerve inside my tear ducts. The night before the email, I had cried myself to sleep on Todd's chest because of my continual empty womb. Anyway, so I told Bradette that I was sad. And in her best "I know how to handle Laura" email voice, she replied with the most perfect words she could have said to me:
And then I found myself weeping at my desk with a newfound sense of peace.
Our five on July 4th...