Thursday, February 12, 2015

Birthday Candles

Since I was a little girl, I have loved my birthday.  I think the part I look forward to the most is blowing out the candles and making a wish.  I’m kind of superstitious in that I like to pick-up pennies, knock on wood, and step over cracks.  I don’t really believe any of it makes a difference, but there’s something about the innocence in those superstitions that I enjoy.  Wishing on birthday cake candles is no different.
My mom must have been Wonder Woman. 
I'm not sure why I had 2 cakes.
When I was little, I probably wished for a certain present or some boy to like me.  As I got older, I probably wished for the perfect college to give me scholarships or some boy to like me.  J  Now, my wishes are real.  They’re deep.  They’d cause the entire room to get teary eyed if I said them allowed.  (Plus, I permanently have the boy who likes me.)

You only get one wish on your birthday.  Do you know what mine will be?!

Exactly one year ago today, I said goodbye to 32 when I wrote:
I can still remember last year on this day thinking that 32 was going to be the best age of all of them thus far. It was going to be the year God gave us a baby. Instead, God had different plans; 32 taught me a lot of lessons…a lot. I’m pretty sure that 32 was the most difficult age thus far. Man, I hope that in the distant future, I can say it was the most difficult of my life.
However, today is a new day and a new age. I can say that I survived 32. I made it to 33…something special has to happen when you’re repeating digits, right?! I am officially leaving behind the year of failures and looking forward to a year of new beginnings. Who’s with me?!

Le sigh.  I was so naïve.  J

The ironic thing about that entry was that I didn’t know that I was actually venturing into an age of my life that would be even harder than the one before.  I didn’t realize I was about to experience more heartbreak than I imagined would be possible on this journey.  I didn’t see that an entirely new year of failures was ahead. 

However, I was right about stepping into a year of new beginnings.  Remember, I was only 23 days past telling Todd that I completely doubted my faith when I wrote that entry.  (Ironic that it was 23 days, huh, Dad?!)  Look how different my life has become this last year.

You know what I probably wished for last year when I blew out my candles?  I probably wished for a sweet baby in my arms or a large belly bump in my hands before my 34th birthday.  (See how I give options on my wishes?!  J)

This birthday wish will different.  I have no idea what this next year will hold for growing our family.  I have hope that our empty arms will finally be full.

However, the truth is that it may not happen in this next year, either.  I don’t know what God has planned for us.  What I do know is that we will continue to press on with building our faith.  We will continue to trust that what God has in store for us will be more beautiful than all of the candle wishes we have ever made.

As I close my eyes and blow-out my candles tonight, I will wish for…

You didn’t think I’d actually tell you, did you?!  Don’t you know that’s the way to make a wish not come true?!  J
Praying before dinner with my dad & sisters.  I'm the little peeker.
A big happy birthday to President Abraham Lincoln.  He was so kind to let me share this day with him.

Here are a few more throwback pictures.  I think I was about 2 in these.  However, that would mean my mom made 4 cakes, so I don't know what's happening here.  Maybe this is over 2 birthdays???  She's pretty awesome, though!  Always has been. 
With my mom & sisters
With my dad & sisters
With my sisters & cousins


  1. What sweet pictures. I think the "two" cakes might be Cookie Monster. It has four candles on it. The other I think is Amber's birthday.
    Laura, you keep wishing and being superstitious. Your mom is. And you keep wishing for that baby. I am wishing that this is the year God reveals his plans for you and Todd. Happy birthday, baby girl.

    1. I wish I had looked closer at the pictures before I wrote this, Mom. I can now see that one of the cakes says "Happy Birthday, Amber." :)

      Thank you for continuining to wish good things for us, Mom. I love you so very much!! Thanks for helping to make my birthday special, too.

  2. Oh man, this hits home. I turned 34 a few months ago, and I too thought 33 would be *the* year. It was so emotional that I just couldn't celebrate my 34th birthday at all and even took it off Facebook hoping that no one would remember the date. (People still did, of course.) Sending you lots of good wishes for a better year.

    1. Oh, Maggie, I'm sorry to hear that. There is nothing easy about dealing with infertility. This time next year, I hope we both can say that 34 was our best year ever. Good luck to you!!

  3. I'll be praying for you guys this year. I wish we could know why God plans the way he does, but at least we can have hope that it's better than we could ever plan for ourselves :)

    1. Absolutely!! His plan is always better. I was just focusing on that this morning. Thank you for your prayers.

  4. It looks like you come from a very loving family. Stay strong…it took from my 31st bday wish until my 37th before this little man will be in my arms.

    I hope your birthday wish comes true! XOXO

    1. Thanks, Jessah! You really are an inspiration to me and so many others. I appreciate you so much. So excited that your sweet boy will be here soon.

  5. I just love birthday parties. They are great ways to have fun time with your loved ones. I always host grand parties on each and every family member’s birthday. I just hosted a funky birthday bash for my sister at one of her favorite Chicago venues. She really liked all the party arrangements.