Monday, April 25, 2016

The Real Truth

In the last entry, I explained how we found out we had three embryos that had made it to blastocyst stage.  Therefore, they were biopsied for genetic testing and frozen.  (I should mention that this type of genetic testing was much different than what we had done before.  At TFC, our embabies were biopsied on day 3, and results were received before a transfer on day 5.  At CCRM, our embabies were not biopsied until they reached the blastocyst stage on day 5, 6, or 7, – days 6 & 7 for us – so we didn't receive the results until weeks later.  Hence the reason we chose a frozen transfer this time instead of a fresh transfer.  But I digress...)

Well, one day shy of two weeks later (nothing in infertility happens that fast), we received the call.  However, I didn’t have my phone on me at work.  Are you kidding?!  I sat back down at my desk – and phone – and didn’t even check to see that I had a missed call.  Several minutes later, Dr. Schoolcraft’s office called.  I was so excited.  I answered to hear the scheduler tell me that I needed to set a meeting for a regroup with Dr. Schoolcraft.  Now, keep in mind that I had no idea the nurse had already called with the genetic test results.  I immediately started quizzing her. 

“Is this good news or bad news?” 
“Does he always do a regroup with patients that have chromosomally normal embryos?”
“Would he be doing a regroup with us if there were no embryos left?”
“When will I hear something?!”

As you can imagine, she was very confused and told me the nurse should be contacting me soon. 

“Soon?!  How soon?”

I hung up the phone and went to call Todd when I realized there was a missed call and voicemail from CCRM.  My heart stopped, and I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing, as well.  We had been so nervous that none of the embryos would be chromosomally normal.  I checked the voicemail and found our nurse telling me that she had the results and to call her when I had a moment to speak.

“Phone tag?!  She wants to play phone tag at a time like this?  Was she a sadist?”

I called her direct line, and left her a message.  I called the nurse’s line, and left her a message.  I called the front desk and asked them to walk to the back and hand her a phone.  They didn’t.  I know, it was a surprise to me, too.  Instead, they returned to tell me she was with a patient and would return my call soon.

“Soon?!  How soon?”

I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited.  It was the longest few hours of my life.  I couldn’t believe she didn’t want to give me these results as bad as I wanted to hear them.  Maybe she thought "that’s what you get for not taking your phone to the restroom."

Finally, she called back.  And confirmed all of our fears.  We do make a lot of chromosomally abnormal embryos, but we also make a small percentage of normal embryos.  Out of our three embryos that were biopsied and frozen, we had one embryo remaining.  One more shot with one more embryo to make one more baby.

I was overwhelmed with relief and disappointment.  I tend to have those mixed emotions a lot on this journey.  We could finally breathe, knowing it wasn’t all over just yet.  It was if God was telling us that we were silly to ever worry.  Of course He was always in control.

12 comments:

  1. I just happened to catch up on your news! It only takes one magical emby and it sounds like you have captured it † :)

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Ladonna. We are so hopeful that this is our baby...hanging out in Colorado on ice, surrounded by ice. :)

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  2. wow, girl! What an emotional roller coaster of a ride they took you on! I am praying fervently for your one embryo! Lots of hugs!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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    1. Thanks, Elisha. I always appreciate prayers but from a prayer warrior like you? Gold! *Hugs*

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  3. I've been following your story for quite some time but have only commented maybe once. But anyway! I'm a fellow Life Churcher at the South BA campus and want you to know i've been sending lots of prayers for you and now will pray more fervently for this sweet embryo!!! I love your upbeat attitude, although i'm sure most days you feel far from upbeat. so a lot of blah, blah, blah to say "praying for you!!" :)

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    1. Awe, thank you so much for that! I always love meeting a fellow Lifer. We truly appreciate the prayers. I definitely have my days where I'm not so upbeat. I do my best to keep myself positive, though. I want to look back and not remember a journey full of sadness but a journey of growth. Thank you for visiting here, leaving me a message, and most of all, praying for us and our baby. *Hugs*

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  4. Continuing to pray for a baby! Thanks for sharing your story with us.

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    1. Thanks, Amanda. I really appreciate your prayers. I can't wait to be messaging you with "Why didn't you tell me my baby would do this?" notes. Hee hee!

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  5. You know your Momma is keeping her fingers crossed, not walking under any ladders, kicking any black cat that walks in front of me, not stepping on any cracks in the sidewalk, throwing any spilled salt over my left shoulder, being very careful with mirrors, not opening umbrellas inside - but mostly praying for you and Todd and that sweet baby who is in waiting.

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    1. Don't forget to catch and release some lady bugs while you're at it. ;-) We appreciate your consistent support and prayers. Love you, Momma!

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    1. That means a lot to me. Thank you, Caroline. I appreciate your friendship so much!

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