As an added note, we are going to do our next IVF cycle sometime between October and January. This new meal and work out plan is filling my project void until then, so I may as well let it fill the blog void, too.
Friday, July 19 – TheFor years, I have struggled with my weight. I’m a yo-yo dieter! I can remember my mother telling me in my twenties that if I continued eating like I was without exercising, I would regret it someday. I hate admitting when she’s right, but she was right. J Todd and I have talked about losing weight a million times in the 8.5 years we have been together…literally, a million. I can’t think of another conversation we have ever had with each other.
Calm Fear Before the Storm
I can remember the first time Todd and I went to 24 Hour Fitness when we lived in Dallas and joined. We paid for 3 years up front because that would give us a lifetime membership for just $29/year for all of the years after. Well, we did a great job working out for about 7 weeks and never went back. Now, we live in Oklahoma where they don’t even have a 24 Hour Fitness. Money down the tubes.
My next weight loss attempt was for our wedding in March 2010. I did drop a few pounds by going to the gym and cutting back on my calories. However, I was living with my cousin, so cutting back on my calories meant eating Lean Pockets, Smart Ones, and carrots. Not the worst diet in the world, but definitely no way to lose weight the healthy way or keep it off.
The next attempt I vividly remember was hCG in June, 2011. This was a terrible idea. Let me repeat: THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!! hCG is a supplement that pregnant women produce to keep you from having to double your calories and still not starve the baby. Natural = healthy, right? WRONG! Basically, you take the supplement and eat 500 calories each day for 3 weeks. We were flawless on it. We didn’t cheat one time. It was awesome. I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks, and Todd lost 20 pounds. We looked so much better! We even kept it off for quite a while. Then, we gained it back…two-fold (at least for me).
We did another attempt at hCG in April, 2012, and I still lost another 13.5 pounds; however, keep in mind that my weight at the end of this second round was still more than my starting weight at the beginning of the first round. Yeah, I know. We started a third round of hCG just a few weeks later and failed miserably. We were over dieting!
I’ve managed to keep half of that 13.5 pounds off, but that’s only because of my workouts.
In October 2012, I started at Tulsa Fit Body Boot Camp. I started going to workouts 5 days a week for 35 minutes of intense workouts. I loved it. I still do. However, I was having no success at changing my diet. I knew I needed a lifestyle change. I’ve been up and down on the scales the last few years, and I’m tired of it.
Monday is a new day. I’m terrified. TERRIFIED!!! I have no idea how to get myself to believe that I can do this. I’m starting a 9-week program conducted by the owner of my boot camp gym, Stephanie Flynn. Basically, I will follow these rules:
1. Eat the meal plan provided by Stephanie
2. Go to boot camp 5 days a week, plus perform 2-3 at-home workouts a week
3. Walk 10,000 steps each day (which I think is approximately 4 miles)
4. Drink 100 ounces of water each day
5. Get 8 hours of sleep each night
6. Take fish oil and a multi-vitamin, which I’ve been doing for over a year, so check!
Stephanie corresponds with us daily on our workouts and meals. Each week, we submit pictures and our weight. Every other week, we submit our measurements and body fat percentage.
In 9 weeks, I’m hoping to lose 2 dress sizes (not my complete end goal but a goal I can strive for in 9 weeks). I read an article that said BMI calculators are wrong. You shouldn’t judge yourself by weight. You should judge by body fat percentage because that’s the best way to tell if you’re fit. Skinny doesn’t always mean fit. I think I agree with this, and I hope it is right.
The fear is that I’ve always failed. Even when I’ve lost it, I’ve gained it back. However, if I don’t lose it this time, I may never be fit, again. I’m so terrified, though, that I’m refusing to put this on my blog right now. Instead, I’m just keeping it to myself. I don’t want my family and friends saying, “Oh, Laura’s on another diet again. Surprise, surprise.” I need a little faith in myself, huh?
Well, I’m about 3 ½ days into my Game Changer program. So far, things are going pretty well. I’ve really stuck to the meal plan, and I’ve been doing all of my workouts. I have Todd doing the home workouts with me. He told me he was impressed with my ability, now. It’s been a few years since we worked out together, so I’m in better shape than I was then. That made me happy.
On Tuesday, I had a lot of cravings. I’ve had some others at different times, but Tuesday evening was the worst. I got on Facebook and asked for support from the Game Changer group. It worked. They gave me lots of great ideas of things to do to keep my mind off it. Basically, I’ve decided that this is going to be just like quitting smoking, but maybe harder. I don’t think my addiction is as strong, but there is easier access to the food I shouldn’t have than cigarettes that were only at the store. I’m constantly surrounded by junk food, people talking about junk food, and commercials about junk food. It sucks, but I have to tune it all out and remember my goals: getting fit and getting pregnant!
My cousin, Bradette, gave me a new motto to live by: Eat to live, don’t live to eat. I love that! Now, I just have to start believing it. I’m working on it, though…one day at a time.
Oh, and I’ve learned to like 3 new things this week: balsamic vinegar & EVOO salad dressing, “healthy” bread – Ezekiel brand, and oatmeal. I’m still working on the oatmeal a little, but it wasn’t too terribly bad for breakfast this morning.