Tuesday, April 7, 2015


Just when I said it was over, I was proven wrong.  We thought that a negative hCG beta test would say that our miscarriage had ended.  However, when an ultrasound was performed back on Friday, March 13…ugh, the date…it was found that there were still remnants of the miscarriage lingering in my uterus.  A week later, our doctor did one more check to make sure it was still intact.  Indeed, it was.  Our doctor did not feel comfortable leaving it there to see if it would remove itself, so we scheduled a hysteroscopy…or at least I thought.  I found out this morning that we will actually be having a D&C.  After all of this and we are back to where we started in December.
(A D&C is a surgery that is performed after a miscarriage and for other reasons.  Todd and I had chosen not to have it for fear that it might damage my uterus.  We were hoping the entire miscarriage would pass naturally.) 

I’m not worried.  I don’t believe my faithful companion is worried, either.  We are both just ready to have this completed. 

Tomorrow is the day.  This surgery is in God’s hands.  I know that scarring of my uterus is a possibility, but I’m not letting myself get worked up about it.  I realize that worrying about it will only take away from my sheer enjoyment of looking forward to anesthesia.  Oh, how I love anesthesia.  Honestly, after all of the worrying to which I’m accustomed, I’m not sure why I’m quite this calm.  I am, though.  The promise of a deep nap must be calming my fears.

We hadn’t spoken much about this until last week because we were letting it not rule our lives.  Now, it’s here.  In 24 hours, it will be gone.  Then, we can return to our hiatus from IVF.