The Ignorance Plan

This morning was our second mid-cycle ultrasound.  Of course, Todd was with me since he is in town and not teaching 3-year olds how to become fully devoted followers of Christ.  J  Dr. McKinney entered the room and quickly told her nurse that I did not want to know anything about the cycle that wasn’t absolutely necessary.  I followed that up with, “We call it ‘The Ignorance Plan’” to which we all laughed.  I was ecstatic that we were getting to see Dr. McKinney again, that she was on-board with our crazy plan, and that we were starting my appointment with “Wandy” (transvaginal ultrasound) on a humorous foot.

I wrote briefly about ‘The Ignorance Plan’ before it was fully a plan and had a name.  It was coined at our first mid-cycle ultrasound appointment on Saturday when we were describing the details to Dr. McKinney to see how we could make it work.  As I was telling Dr. McKinney how I didn’t want to know this count or that measurement or this detail, Todd said, “Basically, she wants to remain ignorant.”  Again, we all laughed.

The details of ‘The Ignorance Plan’ are simple.  I don’t want to know:

·         Follicle count – which we are currently measuring at these mid-cycle ultrasounds

·         Follicle size – which we are also measuring at these mid-cycle ultrasounds

·         Bloodwork results – which are being reported after each of these mid-cycle ultrasound appointments

·         Egg count – which will be available and verbally reported to us at retrieval – This will be the most difficult one to keep a secret because the doctors will have to remember to tell no one the number.  That includes you, Mom, since you’re going to the retrieval with us, again.  So sorry!

·         Fertilization report – which will be available the day after retrieval

·         Embryo count – which will be available everyday starting the day after the retrieval up until transfer day

·         Embryo grade – which will also be available everyday starting the day after the retrieval up until transfer day

·         Any other number or report that could cause me to second-guess if this cycle is working.

The point in ‘The Ignorance Plan’ is that I want to concentrate on God’s plan for us.  I don’t want to worry about what this low number or that poor count means.  I know deep down that God has a perfect plan for us, and we just need to be patient in our wait for it.  However, when I found out that we only retrieved 6 eggs, I was sad.  When only 2 of them fertilized, I was completely distraught.  When the grades were reported as poor, I was beside myself.  It will be easier for me to focus on God’s plan for us and remain positive if I don’t know any of the details.  It won’t be easy, but if I keep the purpose of the plan in mind, it will be achievable.

The kicker is that we still have genetic testing on the table for this cycle.  Todd and I have decided that if we have more than 3 embryos of decent quality, we will perform the genetic testing…I think.  J  Dr. McKinney is encouraging us to transfer 3 embryos on this cycle to increase our odds of having a successful pregnancy.  She even said that if we have 4, she may encourage us to transfer all of those.  (For those that are still learning this process, 1-2 embryos is a normal transfer amount due to the increased risk of high-order multiples.  We do not run that risk because of our background of failed cycles.)  Therefore, most likely, we will forego genetic testing and let God work his plan on this cycle.

The thought of having 3 or 4 embryos transferred immediately brought this scene from “Friends” to mind:

DR. ZANE: It looks like your uterus is ready for implantation.
PHOEBE: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
FRANK: Well, okay, so what's now go get, go get the eggs, put 'em in there.
DR. ZANE: Okay, it'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
PHOEBE: Embryossss? As in, "More than one?"
DR. ZANE: Um-hmm, five actually.
PHOEBE: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
DR. ZANE: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
PHOEBE: That's it! 25 percent? That means that's it's like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
FRANK: Hey, y'know I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
ALICE: Sweety, now, she's a woman, not a gumball machine.

I’m not scared at all about having 3 or 4 embryos transferred.  This is just a scene that makes me laugh, so I had to bring it up.

Anyway, so that’s it.  ‘The Ignorance Plan’ is in full-effect.  Todd is checking the portal for me daily because I have to make sure I’m staying aware of my shot protocol and my next appointment.

We also found out today that Todd will be undergoing surgery again on retrieval day.  He had said multiple times (including this morning to Dr. McKinney) that he was willing to have the procedure again if it improved our chances.  They continued to tell us it wouldn’t be necessary with the frozen sperm they had obtained last cycle.  Then, this afternoon, the doctors put their genius minds together and discussed as a group.  It was at that point that they agreed we were better off with a fresh sample.  The changes are 50% with frozen sperm and 70% with fresh sperm.  I can’t explain what a good man I have by my side.  He still isn’t 100% recovered from the surgery on September 13, and he’ll be undergoing it again within the next week or so.  You cannot imagine.  Don’t even try to imagine because you can’t.  I can’t, either.  Too bad we couldn’t remain ignorant on that detail a little longer, right?!

The beginning of last week was terribly difficult for me emotionally.  I won’t go into the details, but since Thursday, my spirits have really started to lift.  On Friday, my dear friend, Caroline (www.in-due-time.com) posted this picture that I couldn’t resist sharing.  Her entire post that day was perfect, but I especially liked that she put anchors on her picture quote.  J

Happy Monday to everyone!

 

Shot Clock:

1.       Tuesday morning, October 28 – 300 units of Follistim

2.       Tuesday evening, October 28 – 300 units of Follistim

3.       Wednesday morning, October 29 – 300 units of Follistim

4.       Wednesday evening, October 29 – 300 units of Follistim

5.       Thursday morning, October 30 – 300 units of Follistim

6.       Thursday evening, October 30 – 300 units of Follistim

7.       Friday morning, October 31 – 300 units of Follistim

8.       Friday evening, October 31 – 300 units of Follistim

9.       Saturday morning, November 1 – 300 units of Follistim

10.   Saturday evening, November 1 – 300 units of Follistim

11.   Sunday morning, November 2 – 300 units of Follistim

12.   Sunday evening, November 2 – 300 units of Follistim

13.   Monday morning, November 3 – 300 units of Follistim