Carry On Because He’s Got This

It’s been a great week!  Like I said yesterday, I spent a couple of nights at my parents’ house while Todd was out of town.  My anxiety has been quiet all week, which I’m a little nervous to admit.  I think it’s going to be fine, though.  I’ve had 2 acupuncture sessions and 1 massage appointment this week.  They are really helping me to stay calm and relaxed.

For the first time, I’m finally feeling completely at ease that I have given this journey over to God.  I still start to feel worry sneak into my head, but I just remind myself that I’ve done all I can with trying to relax and take my shots on time.  Now, the rest is up to God.  

I’m so full of hope for this cycle that it makes me want to cry.  Happy tears, of course.  I am rejoicing and thanking God for giving me so much hope, again.  My first 2 cycles, I was able to remain happy and hopeful.  I even remember using the word euphoric.  At this moment, on this day, I would say that I am once again euphoric.  And for that, I am grateful.  God is so good to us.

I have had 20 shots, now.  They haven’t been any worse.  I did get a slight twinge of pain from the Menopur this morning.  However, slowing down on the speed of injection really seems to keep the pain at bay.  

I had an ultrasound and bloodwork appointment this morning.  My E2 (estrogen) levels have nearly tripled since Wednesday, and my endometrial lining has almost doubled.  I haven’t bugged my coordinator to see if that’s good.  I’m just assuming that it is.  

Todd counted her measuring 8 follicles at the appointment with Wandy, our ultrasound.  However, they haven’t posted those sizes on my portal for me to see.  

They did set my next ultrasound and bloodwork appointment for Sunday morning, so I’m guessing everything is still moving along nicely.  

And you know what?  I’m okay without having every single detail.  Why?  How could I be okay without knowing every detail like I have in the past?  Because for the first time in any of my IVF cycles, I truly, honestly believe that God has this.  I have finally let it all go.  I can carry on and live my life despite the fact that I have timed shots each morning and night.  I don’t have to live my life as a prisoner to IVF anymore.  I can enjoy this cycle to its fullest.  Le sigh.  What a relief.

Next steps:  On Sunday, we will find out when our next ultrasound and bloodwork appointment will be after that.  We will continue this routine of going to the appointment, finding out the next appointment date and time, going to the appointment, etc. until the follicles have developed to the doctor’s liking.  Then, they will not set an ultrasound/bloodwork appointment, but they will tell us what time to take our trigger shot that night and set our retrieval appointments.  We will get 2 days notice of when our retrieval will be.  It’s very hard to tell my work anything with much notice (more than 2 days), but I’m okay with that.  Why?  Because God has this.  J

Happy weekend to you all!  I hope you find the same level of peace this weekend that I’m feeling.

(Elisha (www.waitingforbabybird.com), thank you for your latest note full of scripture.  I read those periodically through my day.  *Hugs*)

 

Shot Counter:

Saturday, 8/30/14:

1)      Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

2)      Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

3)      Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Sunday, 8/31/14:

4)      Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

5)      Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

6)      Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Monday, 9/1/14:

7)      Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

8)      Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

9)      Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Tuesday, 9/2/14:

10)   Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

11)   Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

12)   Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Wednesday, 9/3/14:

13)   Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

14)   Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

15)   Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Thursday, 9/4/14:

16)   Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

17)   Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.

18)   Follistim 225 units, in the p.m.

Friday, 9/5/14:

19)   Follistim 225 units, in the a.m.

20)   Menopur 75 IU, in the a.m.